How To Spark Great Conversations Around The Table
Whether you’re looking for some great questions to break the ice with people you’ve just met or refresh some conversations with friends you’ve known for a long time, here’s a resource for you! Take these questions and prompts and put them in a jar, have them easily accessible on your phone, or try them out for your next gathering! You never know what good might stir because of some new effort towards intentionality and curiosity in your relationships!
How To Spark Great Conversations Around The Table
The Conversation Quadrant is a simple but powerful framework that helps you think differently about the conversations you have. When used with intentionality, it can take your everyday conversations to a deeper level - one that leads to real connection, spiritual growth, and life-changing moments.
It’s easy to drift through conversations—just following the flow, bouncing from topic to topic. That’s not always bad. But if we never steer with purpose, we run the risk of missing the meaningful conversations we hope for, the kind that form deep relationships, the kind that can shape someone’s life forever. That’s where the Conversation Quadrant comes in. It brings awareness and intentionality—giving us a pathway to help others go deeper and discover more. Here are The Four Quadrants:
Casual: This is where most conversations start—and, unfortunately, where many stay. Topics are light, familiar, and comfortable: work, food, hobbies, the weather. Casual conversations build connection and comfort. They’re natural at every level of relationship. Some people never leave this quadrant. Sometimes it’s fear that holds them back. Many times, it’s simply because it’s all they know–no one has ever shown them there’s something more.
Who is someone you look up to and why?
What does being a good friend look like to you?
What’s a standout childhood memory for you?
What’s a tradition that you want to carry with you?
When was the last time you felt immensely happy?
Meaningful: Meaningful conversations go a level deeper. They’re more personal. You might talk about what brings someone life and joy, what motivates them, what they value, the dreams they have for the future or what challenges they’re facing. These conversations help you understand the heart of a person. They uncover passions, pain, purpose, and hope. Meaningful conversations almost always begin with great listening that leads to a great question—and they flourish with continued listening on our part. You can have a meaningful conversation without being spiritual—but almost every spiritual conversation is meaningful. These two are deeply connected.
When was a moment in your life you were proud of the person you were?
What is your relationship with your family and how does that affect you?
If this year was a chapter in your book, what would it be called?
What brings you joy?
What’s something you wish people knew about you?
Spiritual: Spiritual conversations begin to move toward God. You might talk about someone’s beliefs, their experiences with faith and spirituality, questions they have, or what role (if any) God plays in their life today. These conversations don’t have to be pushy or preachy. They can be thoughtful, respectful, and honest. Like meaningful conversations, spiritual ones often begin with the powerful combination of deep listening and powerful questions. Often, people want to talk about these things—but they’re just waiting for someone to open the door.
What is something you’re unlearning?
What question have you been asking?
What is something you are praying for? What role does God play in your life?
What’s the hardest/best lesson you’ve learned?
Who is someone who has contributed to the person you are today?
Discovery: Discovery is the most unique—and often most overlooked—quadrant. If you weren’t trained or exposed to this idea, you probably wouldn’t land here naturally. Discovery conversations are informal Bible studies. You’re not preaching or giving answers. You’re simply sharing a story from Scripture in your own words and inviting the other person to discover who God is for themselves.
What stands out to you from the story?
What do you learn about God from the story?
How could you apply this to your life?
Who in your life would be encouraged by that story/who could you share this story with? When will you share it?
You were made for more than casual talk. And the people around you? They’re longing for more too. So ask the deeper question. Offer to pray. Tell the story. Trust God with the rest. Because one Spirit-led conversation has the power to change a life. Use the different levels to help you grow in your relationships and friendships with others!